last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
