wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
