yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
