Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My life is pants optional.
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