I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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