He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
barbara walters just said penis...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
