he thought i was a dude.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.