Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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(707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx

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(313): View more from Michigan

ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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(313): ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too? http://tfl.nu/07vv

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(210): View more from Texas

cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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(210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7

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(516): View more from New York

we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

(914): View more from New York

isnt today saturday?

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(516): we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class (914): isnt today saturday? http://tfl.nu/dclk

Replies (28) Good night (913) Bad night (6123)
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(716): View more from New York

just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

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(716): just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars. http://tfl.nu/fh2v

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(+61): View more from Australia

We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

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(+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz

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(310): View more from California

Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?

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(310): Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life? http://tfl.nu/un84

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add

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(608): Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add http://tfl.nu/yo24

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(801): View more from Utah

when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.

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(801): when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead. http://tfl.nu/0qeu

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(860): View more from Connecticut

CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Internet Is back!

(860): View more from Connecticut

MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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(860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

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(978): Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right?????? http://tfl.nu/gecs

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(858): View more from California

CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!

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(858): CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples! http://tfl.nu/mwbo

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(303): View more from Colorado

Why does my jaw hurt?

(402): View more from Nebraska

I may have punched you.

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(303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g

Replies (7) Good night (1606) Bad night (335)
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(616): View more from Michigan

if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore

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(616): if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore http://tfl.nu/orke

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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(202): She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top. http://tfl.nu/luup

Replies (10) Good night (960) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt

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