sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
