lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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