I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
