Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
then he tried to convert me to islam
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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