You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
