i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
