honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
