Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
