he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
