Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
