ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
