if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
