She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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