ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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