you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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