Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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