you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize