I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
