At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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