i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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