I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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