I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
