carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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