Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
try to milk me bitch
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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