People in love make me want to vomit
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
