Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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