State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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