I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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