is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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