they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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