im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
