If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize