You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
