I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Come on in and take your pants off
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