at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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