Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
