Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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