I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
