i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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