This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize