Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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