Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
