Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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