she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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