dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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