I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize