sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize