Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
