The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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