Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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