That's intense
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize